Well- I finally had a emotional "episode" this past Saturday. The impact on my decision to try to become a mother collided with me like someone dropped a piano on my chest. My dad didn't know what to think. I can barely look at the photo I chose to reflect my inner turmoil it's so hideous! My mom, of course, reacted in a calm fashion and tried to talk some sense into me but I couldn't stop the tears. Fortunately I got myself pulled together. I was calm on Sunday.
So, for now, I am taking things one day at a time. I am finally slightly terrified about my choice. Who knew I could be so normal? Right now, a jack under the piano has given me a few inches to breathe but I am so scared that the tension will fracture it and bring it all back down again.


6 comments:
I would say that's a pretty accurate summary!! You'll be fine, don't worry, be happy!!
It's not something that should be taken lightly, obviously! Just keep being good, do what your supposed to be doing, and you'll be blessed to have things go how they should.
Interesting....I think I had very similar feelings when I found out I was pregnant with Nathaniel. lol, remember I already had a five month old!? You are right, the feelings are normal and everything works out okay. It did for us. We wouldn't trade Sano for anything in the world :)
oops, I should clarify, this is Aunt Julie, not Tom, as the i.d. would suggest.
Like I told you before when you asked me what I thought about adopting a baby...well babies now. Of course, you were surprised to hear me say that I thought it was such a great idea and that you would be a fantastic little mommie. There is a pregnant Ethiopian expecting right now and soon the little angel will be yours. Your kind of pregnant but not, if that makes since.
Well, no wise mother's perspective here, but I will say that I never doubted your decision for a second. I have faith in you.
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