I am still #12. I have changed my status back to one child. For those like my mom who do not read my side bars, my adoption was over. I reacted poorly and was hysterical for a week or so. I told my parents, Aunt J, Aunt K, my sister, and my boss! However, and there is a big however... I could not notify the agency. I tried to make myself. I tried dialing, emailing, telepathically transmitting...... well almost. Anyway, I received my supplemental payment invoice, (my agency loves supplemental fees) and I paid them. I told my mother that I got the invoice and her intake of oxygen deprived air to her cats it was so severe :) .
Lo and behold, I believe the freak outs are for the most part behind me. The crushing weight of fear have ended. I am a strong willed person and my feelings were completely normal. I am starting to breathe again and I just try to get through one day at a time. I know that if I continue to plan well and do some heavy praying I will succeed. Although I was thrilled at the chance of two beautiful children I now put all that exuberance in hoping for one. HOWEVER I HAVEN'T MOVED A SPOT IN 10 WEEKS AARRRGGG!
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It isn't the easiest path but let's face it; when have I ever done anything easy? I usually over complicated things and make a mess!
3 comments:
I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better about it. I will keep you in my prayers, too.
I am all over the one child at a time thing. That makes so much sense to me. After all...YOU ARE SINGLE!!! YOU WORK FULL TIME!!! Good for you. I will pray for you too. How very exciting. You will make it work.
Sounds intense, Aubrey. I hope everything goes well for you. Prayers do help. I'll add mine to the rest.
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